Vanity Plates: Cool Carcessory or JST TMI?
So, I was driving along the other day and I pull up behind a mini-van with a vanity plate. That’s not such a big deal in itself, because where I live they’re all over the place. Vanity plates, I mean. Mini-vans too, but that’s not what this post is about. Anyway, this driver struck me right away as someone who is very comfortable in their own skin, someone who knows who they are and aren’t afraid to advertise it:
That’s what the tag said! Of course, maybe it was a gift or something.
I don’t give much thought to vanity plates, but this one made me start paying attention. Maybe I’ve been missing something good out there. At least good for a laugh. Naturally, I had to share, so following are some of the plates I saw in the last two weeks. I categorized for you because I’m just awesome like that:
People who need a license plate to remember their names:
JT SMITH – not that J. T. Smith?
SPEC SR – to avoid confusion
Or their nicknames:
SHAMOO – not that Shamoo?
MRBONZ – set them or break them?
THE DEAL – really? you’re the deal? the real deal? are you sure?
SIRFLEX – I feel dirty
Or who they belong to:
But what’s with the numbers?:
BAIL 80 – graduated in ’80?, born in ’80?, how many times you’ve been bailed out of jail?
I only saw two pickup trucks with vanity plates. Wayne, do Real Southern Men get vanity plates for their Rams and F-150’s? I’m guessing not.
On the pickups:
People who want to make sure you know this is not YOUR car:
HARLYS – are awesome, I know!
MAGS KIA – now, which one of these KIA’s is mine?
BRADS 88 – Happy Birthday!
Then there’s this guy:
VANITY PLATE TIP – if you’re gonna go through all the trouble of thinking up something remarkably clever to brand your vehicle with, please make it something simple enough that we can read it as we pass you by at 50 miles per hour.
People who want to share something about themselves:
UD FLIER – sports fan (I had to google it)
LSTS GRL – Lsts must be so proud
H8 2ORK – drive this to work, do you?
KNJ&TMS – we’re so happy for you both
GOLF SUX – wrestling fan
CLOUD5 – cloud 9 too crowded? or maybe you’re happy, but not that happy
4NGOLF – world traveler
WV ANGEL – but aren’t they all?
TWILIT – I kid you not! you must have been lit when you ordered this plate
4MYGRLS – but I bet you don’t let them drive it
Such as what they love:
HATEFUL’s nearest and dearest:
CHOKE U – congrats! I never finished college
EVIL SUV – no, no…you can go first
The problem with this is that, in Virginia anyway, you only have 7 digits to sum up your life. Sometimes this works out fine and sometimes it leaves too much room for interpretation.
DAD SPLD – did he spill something? in your car? was it milk?
HAIR 4ME – I assume you are a hair dresser and not someone featured on My Strange Addiction
SOOTHER – soother! I barely know her
SOLD I – I can only hope that I stands for the number 1
CDCAPE – no, I don’t see it! your disguise is still safe, Super…Clark
I did see a school bus with a tag that read HELP ME, which was a big surprised. Not so much the ‘help me’, but I just didn’t know they did vanity tags for school buses.
And then there are the others. I’ll let you sort these out:
SYDJAK – no, her name was Nancy
NAMJAS – are those the pajamas with the feet?
SECAMND – California Dreamin’?
Okay, I made that school bus one up.
It was scrawled on the window in crayon.
That was fun! Now I just need to condition myself back to looking at the road instead of every plate that comes my way.