Oct 12
I’m super good at tomorrow.
I have tons of motivation for making new beginnings; all kinds of ideas and plans and inspirations.
For tomorrow.
I’m not so good at today.
Today I’m gonna sit here juuust a little bit longer.
Today I’m too tired, too busy, too hungry, too overwhelmed.
Today I don’t have the right shoes on.
Mostly, today I just don’t have the right attitude.
But don’t worry; I’ll adjust my attitude tomorrow.
♠
Aug 17
.
The sun doesn’t rise instantaneously; it comes up little by little by little.
…
I think the key for us is to learn to trust the little by little.
– Matt Ham
Bowtie Friday with Matt Ham (video)
∞
Jul 3
My parents are moving today. And I’m kinda sad about it. I don’t like the idea of other people living in their house. It feels upsetting and wrong.
Which is weird, because I haven’t lived with them for over 20 years. And they’ve only had this house about 3 years.
So what’s that all about, I wonder?
Maybe I just like the house. It’s smallish and comfortable. I feel peaceful there. I’ve enjoyed the times I spent there.
My parents are moving on to bigger and better, and I’m sure the new house is really great. But all I keep thinking is I’ll never stand in that backyard again, I’ll never sit on that porch again, I’ll never sleep in that room again…
I’ll never again look on that one small piece of the world.
As I’m writing this, I’m realizing the truth that this is about me and not the house.
I have an uneasy relationship with change. Occasionally I have embraced it, but mostly I just keep a nice safe distance.
But for three years I’ve been trying to close that gap. With little success.
Finally I’m making some strides. Finally I’m, if not embracing change, at least giving it a side hug.
Instead of saying, “this is what I want and here is how I can get it,” I’m forcing a change in my thought and behavior vocabulary.
“This is what I want and here is how I will get it.”
It’s not easy.
Because that “will” is a mighty filled-up word. Inside those four little letters is sacrifice and sweat, pain, deprivation, commitment, persistence, self-control…lots of hard, hard things.
I am moving on to bigger and better places in my life. And yet some part of me is melancholy, and a little scared about what changes I’m moving on to.
And lamenting the loss of this small and comfortable existence I already know so well.
♦
.
In every situation, you can make something that is what everyone thinks it should be, or you can change what everyone thinks it should be.
– JT Weaver
from:
∞
I'm a writer and photographer, sometime poet and philosopher, who is figuring out who she was meant to be.
Me Robo El Show (Instrumental Jazz Mix) by Jeris is licensed under a Attribution Noncommercial (3.0).
steadily skipping stones 