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I Dream of Zombie

If you’ve read About Me (The Director’s Cut), then you know I’m afraid of sharks and zombies.  You also would be aware of the fact that I just have to know what happens.  If Pandora’s box is a tv or a computer (I heart you, Wikipedia), then call me Pandora.  I know I shouldn’t watch Zombieland.  I know I shouldn’t read the plot synopsis of every single The Walking Dead episode.  But I do did won’t stop.

The odd thing is, I mostly don’t get nightmares from scary movies.  I always expect to, but it rarely happens.  No, I get daymares (sigh).  For a week or two after I see a really good zombie movie, I expect to see them standing around in my front yard every time I go outside.  I still open the door because, you know, zombies aren’t real yet.  But my mind flashes that image in front of my eyes as I reach for the handle and it’s kinda scary.  Would you think less of me if I admitted to a little pause every now and then, before I turned the knob?  To peeking a bit before I opened the door all the way?  What if I only peeked at night?  Okay, well, I never do those things, so that was just hypothetical and all.

So here’s the thing: I’ve had four or five zombie dreams over the last few weeks.  I thought I had zombie dreams once every few months, but this… This is throwing me for a loop.  What if I have zombie dreams way, way more often than I realize?  What if I have zombie dreams all the time, like once a week?  Or every night!  This is very disturbing!  I don’t like the idea that my brain is up there doing things that I don’t know about.  It’s not right. I mean, who knows what those zombies have been doing in my brain while I sleep.

Anyway, the last zombie dream I had was a movie.  Sometimes I make movies while I dream, just not good movies.  This movie was kind of a combination of a lot of different zombie things I’ve seen or read the plot synopsis of every single episode.  The landscape was deserted city (28 Days Later), with a touch of war-torn decimation.  The protagonist was a regular kind of guy who becomes the leader because of his leader charisma, I guess (The Walking Dead). (Did I really need to parentheses that?) (You haven’t been living under a rock or anything, right?) He was the strong but deeply caring type, and he was really concerned that his wife was going to become a zombie, which (spoiler alert!) she eventually did.

I hate blood and guts, so my zombie dreams are pretty lame tame.  This movie was no exception, so the zombies were mostly just walking around and doing nothing severely threatening (Shawn of the Dead; you’d have time to throw records at these zombies).  They were slow and bumbling and brainless (haha), and they got that way from a virus (Contagion).  That’s how I explained to myself that none of them appeared bitten or anything else gruesome or horrifying or seeping.

Rick (if that was really his name) was leading his little group around trying to find a safe place where the virus was not gonna get them.  No one they came across would let these outsiders into their safe little hidy holes, and next thing you know, Lori his wife is a zombie.

I know!  So scary.

Well, he’s pining away a bit (Oh, the Humanity!), and following her around when I realize that these zombies are totally wimpy and unbloodthirsty. Hmm… That ain’t right. So all of a sudden these vampires show up. I knew they were vampires, but they were big and kind of shaggy, do I decided it was a group of vampires and werewolves (Underworld) and maybe some mixed breeds. Because that is how the zombies would go from brainless slow-walking contagious bodies, to brain-hungry, blood-thirsty evil dead. See, these vampire wolf things were going to start biting the zombies (though I don’t know what put that idea into their heads, except they’re just mean), and that would turn the zombies into ravenous beasts.

Well, I figured that would save what was left of the movie, but I can’t screen my eyes with my fingers while I’m sleeping, so I woke up. I just knew I wasn’t going to like the truckload of gross that was about to be unleashed.

So, that’s it. I feel like I owe you an ending, but I only write movies while I sleep. I’m really sorry, but you’ll have to come up with your own ending. Make it a happy one if you can, will you? Those are my favorites.

PS: I wonder why I’m not scared of vampires or werewolves?

13 Comments Post a comment
  1. Probably cuz werewolves don’t roam about in cities 😀

    Dunno about vampires though.

    June 28, 2012
    • Oh, no! I live in the country…

      By myself.

      Actually, I was thinking today that werewolves and vampires are night creatures, but zombies can get you at any old time. Plus I think the main thing is that zombies are always all covered in blood and guts and bite marks and icky stuff.

      June 28, 2012
      • Oh! That can be a bit scary then 😛

        Yeah you’re right, zombies are dead and decaying and I hate dead and decaying :O

        June 29, 2012
  2. Last night at dinner my running friends and I were discussing our next trail run location, which apparently has been overrun with baby copperhead snakes. One of the runners feels about snakes like you do about zombies. I don’t like them (snakes–or zombies), but I don’t let them stop me from hiking or running. I had a dream about snakes later that evening. We were running on the trail and they were everywhere. I woke up and looked at the floor before I got out of bed. I expected one to slither out when I opened the car door. I was nervous when we ran before the sun came up. Yeah. I so understand what you’re talking about.

    June 28, 2012
    • It’s really amazing what the brain can and will do to us! I don’t know that it’s necessarily fear, since you’re not scared of the snakes, really. But what makes us so impressionable? I woke up in the middle of the night last night and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I read a few blogs. I read just part of a post about UFOs – skimmed it really – and at some point between 3 and 8am, I had a really long dream about UFOs. I don’t care one way or another about UFOs or aliens, so why did that tiny little bit of reading make such an impression on my mind?

      June 28, 2012
  3. Kylie #

    Daymares… I like the term, but not the actual thing! I don’t watch scary movies because they give me both… I’m scared of the dark & of the nightmares that I know will come, haha.

    I nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger Award (because I love your blog, of course). You can check out the post I linked you in here ( if you so desire to. 🙂

    June 28, 2012
    • I wasn’t sure at first what to call them. Temporary psychotic episodes sounded too, I don’t know, crazy.

      I’m not scared of the dark, but every now and then I do get really creeped out by the dark and I have to go room to room just double checking. If anything was in the house, I’d be a goner, but I’d rather deal with it face to face, than get snuck up on.

      Thank you so much for the award! That is so nice of you!

      June 28, 2012
  4. I would be afraid to go to sleep at night if I were you. Are you?

    June 28, 2012
    • Hey you!! Get out of my head!


      And if you see any zombies in there, don’t give them any ideas.

      June 28, 2012
  5. Probably because vampires and werewolves are now so hot (True Blood) 🙂 I don’t have an issue with zombies either probably because in most movies, humans always have a fighting chance. But I have a huge issue with ghosts. I cannot watch scary movies like Sadako without jumping at the slightest sound weeks after.

    June 28, 2012
    • Haha, they are super hot right now.

      You’re right about the zombie movies, at least some of the people always get away in the end. But I’m with you on the ghosts, too. I actually don’t like any of that kind of scary stuff. I can read scary books, but it’s seeing it that gets me.

      June 28, 2012
  6. I pulled up a big rock, dug a hole, crawled in, and pulled the rock down tight. What’s a zombie?

    June 29, 2012
    • I’ve often said that I am sure to die in the first wave of zombie attacks, because I never know what’s going on. I just get up, get ready, and leave the house without so much as turning on a radio. Yeah, I may not make it out my driveway. But I think you’ve got the right strategy there. I saw a picture of a new house once that was super fortified, with huge slabs of concrete walls that would slide or swing shut over these massive exposed windows. The article actually said it was zombie-proof. I can’t afford a house like that, so I’d better start inspecting some good sized rocks around the yard.

      June 29, 2012

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