Skewed Perceptions of Self and Accomplishment
I looked at the clock and thought, “11:17!! Already? I haven’t gotten anything done today!”
But when I tried to pick out just what it was I thought I should have done already, my mind was a blank. The idea of what I hadn’t accomplished was just a kind of hazy cloud, an overcast. Ill defined and vaporous, yet substantial enough to cast a shadow across my mind.
All this as I dried my hands from washing dishes. Hmm.
So I asked myself, “what have I done today?” I clicked them off in my head:
washed a load of clothes
cooked 2 pounds of bacon
made 2 pitchers of tea
emptied the dishwasher
took a conference call for work
texted back and forth with my boss
read my emails
cleaned the kitchen
hand washed a bunch of dishes
cleaned the kitty litter…
I guess I did do some things. And yet I had stood there, downcast and self-condemning, in the shadow of a cloud of my own making.
Why do we do that to ourselves? I know it’s not just me.
Why are we so hard on ourselves?