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Posts from the ‘Autobiography’ Category

Cassettes and Karaoke

I am moving soon, so I’m going through all the bits and pieces of life I’ve gathered in the last…well, since childhood. I am a sentimental pack-rat, and though I’ve been systematically decluttering my home for the last few years, I still have a lot, lot, lot of old stuff.

One of the things I’ve brought with me through move after move are masses of old cassette tapes. I’ve already gone through all the store-bought music, tapes we wore out in high school and the ones I’d sing with at the top of my lungs as I rode through the country in college. Today I started working on the make-your-owns, all the mixed tapes, and songs I recorded off the radio when I was a pre-teen, and the albums I transferred to tape way back when cassettes were the next new best thing ever.

I also unearthed, in these stacks of tapes, some of those SuperStar deals, you know, where you’d sing in a little booth and they’d give you a cassette of the recording. Just like live karaoke now, some people were super, duper awesome. And others weren’t. But it was fun to listen no matter which type they played on the loudspeaker.

I’ve always loved to sing. If I could have one single wish for my life, for something I would change about myself, it would be to have a beautiful singing voice. Even if no one else ever heard it. I just feel so much joy when I’m singing. Except that I can’t sing, lol. It’s not quite as joyful a noise, when it’s mostly just noise.

My voice has never been strong, but I could at least carry a tune when I was younger. Mostly. I was always in chorus throughout my school years, and I sang solos and duets in a couple of concerts. I even had a solo in the senior musical. An uncomfortably high-pitched, shaky solo, but I did it, dammit. Overall, though, my voice was best suited for the chorus – where it could blend in!

And then after I stopped singing (and smoked for years), my voice got worse and worse. I pretty much can’t even hit the right notes anymore. Ah, well…what are you gonna do? Keep my voice in the shower, I guess.

In any case, it was fun to hear those old SuperStar cassettes again, probably for the first time since that summer. But kind of painful, too – to my ears! And my pride, lol. I was pretty horrid and could have used a chorus in that booth with me. Unfortunately, there were several cassettes to go through. The amusement park where I worked had an employee party one night that included free recordings. My friend Cybille and I worked the studio for the party, but managed to fit in time to do a few recordings ourselves. Maybe too much time, haha.

But it was super fun, and listening made me remember all those fun times. And remembering was good.

I’m even going to share the fun, if you want to have a laugh yourself:


If you notice in the picture, it says “better”, and believe me that was the better version. And that haircut stuff is from an Eddie Murphy Buckwheat sketch on SNL. Good times, haha.

 

 

 

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tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

 

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I’m super good at tomorrow.

I have tons of motivation for making new beginnings; all kinds of ideas and plans and inspirations. 

For tomorrow.

I’m not so good at today.

Today I’m gonna sit here juuust a little bit longer.

Today I’m too tired, too busy, too hungry, too overwhelmed.

Today I don’t have the right shoes on.

Mostly, today I just don’t have the right attitude.

But don’t worry; I’ll adjust my attitude tomorrow.

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There, I wrote something. Are you happy now?

I was talking to my friend Mark about not blogging for so long, and he told me “Just f*cking do it!” So are you happy now, Mark?

But he was right, and actually, this makes me happy. Just being here, typing this now, I feel excited and full of ideas and desire to write and write and write.

So why wasn’t I writing all along?

It’s been months, practically a year, since I wrote on a regular basis. I sometimes missed it, but not much. Same with the photography – I think I posted one picture this year. Almost the same with the podcast – a little spurt and then I was done.

In an interview I did last year, Asia Nelson said she was multi-passionate. I’d never heard that before, but that’s definitely me. I am not particularly great at any one thing, but I am a little good at a few different things.

Which is fine, and even great. But also not great. My passions flow through me in a cyclical pattern, burning bright then burning out then eventually coming back around with that fire again. I put a lot of creative and emotional (and physical) energy into one thing until I am burned out and have nothing left.

But that is just my personality too – I give all of myself over to a project, and at some point you have nothing left in the tank.

I didn’t feel that burning desire to come back to blogging; it was more like a little ember. But just being here is like kindling. We’ll see what develops. 🙂

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What is your passion?

Is it self-sustainable, or does that flame burn out from time to time?

 

Things I Love For No Good Reason

Although joy is as good a reason as any. 

So I guess what I really mean is things I don’t know why  they bring me such joy.

  • Wind chimes. Not all wind chimes, just certain wind chimes. But if I find a wind chime with just the right sound, it makes me so happy.
  • Cactus plants. I really just like them. A lot. I always want to buy any cactus plant I see. Except the ones with fake flowers glued to them. Or really, I want to buy them too, and take them home and tear off that fake flower.
  • Plants in general. Green plants. Any kind of ivy especially makes me happy.
  • Notebooks. Pads of paper. Any kind of paper bound together.
  • Blue Ink Pens.
  • Desk organizers. Pencil cups and phone stands and in-boxes and all those kinds of things.
  • Books. Although I know why books make me happy.
  • Blankets. I loooove blankets.
  • Scarves. And gloves. That I never remember to wear.

These are things that if I see them I want them. I just have an instant desire to have them and keep them.

And even though I don’t buy them, just seeing them makes me happy.

 

What makes you happy? (Whether or not you know why.)