What’s this blog about, anyway?

I have no idea.

While I’m trying to figure it out, I guess I’ll admit that up until a couple of years ago, I didn’t even know what a blog was.  I kept hearing about this person’s blog or that person’s blog.  I was like, “What the heck is a blog?”  (Don’t you just hate it when someone says the word like every other word!  So annoying.  Of course, I didn’t mean you.  It comes off real natural when you do it.)  I was like, “What’s a blog?”  I thought maybe it was that roll of fat underneath the first roll of fat.  You know the one I’m talking about – the smaller one that holds the bigger one up over the top of your pants.  Hey, maybe my blog should be about diet and nutrition!  No, that’s no good.  Then I’d have to put more effort into diet and nutrition.

Anyway, now I know that Blog is short for weblog, and anybody can have one.  And they are everywhere, on every sort of subject.  Even if nobody cares about that subject.  Well, I mean, nobody else.  So, when an opportunity came up to have my own blog, I thought, “Why not?  Like, that could be fun.”  (I crack me up.)

Of course, I now realize that I have absolutely nothing to say.

Let me clarify:  I have absolutely nothing of interest to say.  (I might feel worse about myself if I thought I was the only one.  However, I’ve met a lot of people who have nothing of interest to say.  But it never stopped any of them.)

Truth be told, I usually feel a little awkward when people ask me, “So, what’s been going on – what’s new?”  I always feel like I ought to make something up.  I mean, they went through all that trouble to ask me and everything.  Where’s their payoff?  Don’t they deserve a good answer?  But the fact of the matter is that mostly nothing is going on and there’s almost never anything new.

Actually – more truth to be told – I’d be hard pressed to tell you what’s old, much less what’s new.  Time goes by so quickly now that it just seems to all blend together into a throng of days.  (Throng, not thong.  That is a picture, though.)  The older I get, the faster the weeks fly by.  I remember when the summer seemed to last for-ever.  I’d wake up, spend all day at the pool and hang out with my friends in the afternoon.  The days were so long.  Now I wake up and go to work.  When I finally come back out into the light, the day is pretty much over.  (I could talk about work!  No, that’s not good.  I can’t afford to get fired.)

When I was a kid, with days like that, somehow I didn’t mind each one being the same as the last.  Hey, maybe I could talk about aging, or aging in the middle – not a Baby Boomer, not a kid anymore.  “Generation X closes in on middle age.”  But…I don’t know, that’s kind of depressing.  How much time do I want to spend talking about the way my knees hurt… and my ankles… and my back hurts, too.  Wait, somehow I feel like I’ve circled back to the weight issue.  Not sure what just happened.  (Aaaannnd now we’re back to age!  Ah, the circle of life.)

Maybe I could talk about dogs, because, well, I have a dog!  No…to be honest, I don’t care about anybody’s dog but mine.  And plus, there’s limited potential in that subject.  I mean, he doesn’t really do anything.  Yesterday, he looked out the window at the squirrels, today he’s looking out the window at squirrels (as I type these very words), and tomorrow he’ll probably do the same thing.  I’m beginning to think that we have a lot in common, actually.  So, I will never again ask him, “What’s new, Louis?”  I love him, after all, and I wouldn’t want him to feel awkward.

Maybe a blog is not going to be as much fun as I thought.  Now my head hurts, too.  But don’t you worry about me!  I’m sure I’ll eventually come up with something.  It may not be of particular interest, but that doesn’t bother me overmuch.  After all, I may have to write it, but I don’t have to read it.