Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?
The consensus is NO! Followed closely by some kind of comment about lust. Only, it’s more like Lust. No, I can’t make it look dirty enough. I don’t know if there’s a font capable of translating into visual image the way the word lust was uttered by some of the people answering this question. Picture Jessica Rabbit. Now picture her saying the word lust. That’s as close as I can get.
Honestly, I’m on the fence with this one. I absolutely do believe that there are people who meet for the first time and are instantly drawn to one another – beyond physical attraction and lust – a true connection. It’s a feeling that this person was waiting for you, that it was inevitable that you would someday meet. And I believe it feels like love. It can be like an electric current going through you, but it can also be a quiet kind of thing, less electricity and more recognition.
On the other hand, I also know that the aforementioned electric feeling is simply the result of chemicals being dumped into your body. And I understand that an initial attraction, when based on physical appearance or lust, is not enough to sustain a lasting relationship. So, if such a relationship lasts, is it fair to say that they fell in love at first sight? Or is it more accurate to say they fell in attraction at first sight and it happened to work out?
My friend’s parents met and married within weeks of meeting. They simply knew. And then they simply worked at it. They will tell you that it was love at first sight.
Here is what some other people said:
Nadia: At my age, no! Especially with guys – they’re not thinking with their heads. They’re lusting after you…not love. Maybe as you get older…
Gloria: Second sight. First sight is admiration.
Lynn: No. Not at all.
Julie: Yes. Absolutely.
Rebecca: I think within the first 30 seconds, you know whether or not it will work with someone. So…not necessarily falling in love instantly, but knowing who you can’t love instantly. And I also believe that some people have a very strong chemical reaction to others, where it might not be love, but it’s…
—Logan: It’s an intense feeling.
Rebecca: It’s such an intense feeling that, if you do the right things at the beginning of the relationship, it would be love and it would last forever and ever. Whereas…you could just as easily jack that up as anything. It comes down to – what you do with it makes the difference between whether it will last or not. It is still what you build or what you don’t build that determines what lasts.
Abena: No, it’s attraction at first sight. I think you need to know someone before you love them.
Sharon: I believe in lust at first sight – that’s for darned sure.
Fez: Yeah, I do.
Daniel: Depends on what you’re lookin’ at!
John: I guess it would depend on what you’re defining the love as.
—Terri: I think the situations can happen where it all comes together…and it really is love at first sight. But I don’t believe that people always know that it is. I’m suspicious of, “their eyes met and they just knew.” Now if they meet, and they keep meeting, and they develop a relationship…maybe they go back and look at it later, and they figure out that this all was meant to be.
John: There can be an initial attraction…
—Michelle: Like an attraction at first sight?
Terri: You see something in the other person that you want to be around.
—John: …when you’re talking about a romantic love. Does a Mother fall in love with her child the first time she sees the child after it’s been born? Yeah, but at the same time, that Mother has probably already developed the love for the child…
Terri: …nine months…
—John: …before that child’s actually born. But when you’re talking about a romantic relationship, I think you can have an attraction at first sight and certainly you have lust at first sight. I think to really develop the true bond of love… I think that takes more time to develop. Now you can have that attraction at first that makes you think, “Hey, this girl’s really cool, she’s cute, she seems to be fun to hang around, so I want to spend more time around her.” And you do have that initial attraction, whatever it is, whether it’s pheromones or whether it’s just your personalities or what, that it seems there’s a potential match here.
Terri: That’s why so many relationships wind up ending badly, is because people act on that initial attraction, and then they don’t understand that… My favorite word is, “The sparkle wore off.” Okay, real life is not “sparkle”. Real life is work – it takes a lot of work to be boring. Drama is easy. Drama’s easy because then you never have to make decisions about anything, you can just throw up your hands and say, “Oh, my life is so bad!” I know a couple like that, who every time anything goes wrong, they just throw up their hands about how bad it is, instead of trying to fix it. But if you’d fix it – it you’d do something – it wouldn’t be as bad. So, I think that’s what happens with the love thing, is they think they’re in love when they’re really in lust and then when the lust wears off, it’s “I’m done”.
Tom: I believe in lust at first sight.
—Jim: I believe you’ve got to look twice.
Martha: I believe in magic.
—Michelle: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Martha: I think that there could be such a thing…I mean, I have not experienced it in my lifetime, but…
—Tom: It’s lust at first sight, you have a physical attraction…
Jim: That’s right.
—Tom: You’re drawn to somebody, but…
Jim: It’s instinctual…
—Tom: It is.
Tina: But a lot of times they can blow it just by talking!
—Jim: I know!
Tom: That’s right!
—Michelle: So that’s not love…
Tom: …and then she opened her mouth!
Items of interest:
Love In An Instant – our Query was inspired by this post from Kendall Goodwin, who was herself inspired by a photograph. Check them out.
- Tuesday, love,lust,whatever… (todayithink.wordpress.com)