Movie Quote Monday – To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Since I can’t get cable or satellite where I live, I watch movies.  I have a lot of movies.

I used to buy used movies for cheap at my local rental store before it went bye-bye, so I’ve gotten a lot of them that I only watch once every few years.  Every so often, I get one of those random movies stuck in my head, and I have to indulge myself with a viewing to get it out of my system.  That’s what happened with this movie; it got stuck in my head somehow, so I had to watch it.

Maybe my subconscious was telling me something, because there was a scene in the movie illustrating a topic that has come up recently on a couple of blogs that I read: 

Noxeema:  See, Vida, there are times when you help people, and then there are times when, if you help people, you end up being killed.  So, you don’t help people!
Vida:  Well, she trusts me and I trust her.
Noxeema:  Honey there’s a fine line between trust and stupidity.
…
Vida:  I thought you had learned just a little bit more than this, Noxeema.
Noxeema:  Well, I thought you had learned how to mind your own business.  Look, Vida, what is going on upstairs has nothing to do with you.  Nothing.

In the movie, the question at hand is whether or not to get involved between a wife and the husband who is beating her.  I haven’t been in that position, but I know people who have.  And I think we’ve all been faced with that question: get involved or mind your own business?  I have debated with myself on whether or not to step in and “help” people who were clearly making decisions that were damaging to themselves and others.  But step in how?  And how far?

As Noxeema said, it’s a fine line.

Some issues are not as clear-cut, in terms of crisis.  For example, my friend’s mother (who lives with her) has Alzheimer’s.  Some months ago, I saw a notice for an informational session that I thought my friend might benefit from, and my instinct was screaming at me to call her up and see if she was interested in attending together.  But I didn’t.  I let my fear guide my decision – fear of butting in where I wasn’t wanted, of bringing up something that she might not want to talk about, fear of I don’t know what.  I suppose it was simply the fear of treading where I do not belong.

On Saturday, the subject of her mother came up, and I tested those waters.  I found her welcoming of anything that I was able to offer.  And I felt guilty for leaving her on her own for so long.  I was afraid of interfering, and so I offered no support at all.

What I’m finding is that this fine line is drawn in the sand, and not carved in stone.  For me, that means that where I’ve erred before, I can learn from it.  I can wipe out the line and move it – anywhere I want. 

I think the key is to follow your intuition…and your heart.  Do what you know is the right thing.  Maybe you get thrown through a wall.  And just maybe you’ll save someone else from going over it.

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Items of Interest:

A Letter To the Student Who Withdrew Himself by RASJacobson (in which a teacher reaches out)

None of Your Business? by educlaytion (in which Clay goes through a wall)

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