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Posts tagged ‘photography’

Moving On

My parents are moving today. And I’m kinda sad about it. I don’t like the idea of other people living in their house. It feels upsetting and wrong.

Which is weird, because I haven’t lived with them for over 20 years. And they’ve only had this house about 3 years.

So what’s that all about, I wonder?

Maybe I just like the house. It’s smallish and comfortable. I feel peaceful there. I’ve enjoyed the times I spent there.

My parents are moving on to bigger and better, and I’m sure the new house is really great. But all I keep thinking is I’ll never stand in that backyard again, I’ll never sit on that porch again, I’ll never sleep in that room again…

I’ll never again look on that one small piece of the world.

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As I’m writing this, I’m realizing the truth that this is about me and not the house.

I have an uneasy relationship with change. Occasionally I have embraced it, but mostly I just keep a nice safe distance.

But for three years I’ve been trying to close that gap. With little success.

Finally I’m making some strides. Finally I’m, if not embracing change, at least giving it a side hug.

Instead of saying, “this is what I want and here is how I can get it,” I’m forcing a change in my thought and behavior vocabulary.

“This is what I want and here is how I will get it.”

It’s not easy.

Because that “will” is a mighty filled-up word. Inside those four little letters is sacrifice and sweat, pain, deprivation, commitment, persistence, self-control…lots of hard, hard things.

I am moving on to bigger and better places in my life. And yet some part of me is melancholy, and a little scared about what changes I’m moving on to.

And lamenting the loss of this small and comfortable existence I already know so well.




3rd Annual Zombie Walk

This past Saturday was the Zombie Walk! I went for the first time last year with my friend Toni and we had a great time. This year Toni’s husband and son joined us too. It seemed even more crowded with zombies than last year, and I’m hoping it brought in a lot of food donations for our area food banks.

The Mean Mommy Club of Fredericksburg originated the Zombie Walk here, and I chatted with a couple of the Mean Mommies beforehand about how they got started and why they decided to do this kind of charity event in the first place. Here’s the interview, if you’d like to take a listen (it’s about 16 minutes):

Here are some pictures:

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It was a lot of fun, and I even got to be a costume contest judge this year, so that was cool too. And I only ran away from one person this year, so that’s a step up. But in my defense, she was really, really creepy.

Items of Interest
I didn’t even cry at the Zombie Walk (the post about last year’s walk)
Fredericksburg Zombie Walk (Facebook page)
The Mean Mommy Club of Fredericksburg


Allison Weekend

I had my niece Allison for a visit last weekend, and it was really great! I only live about an hour away from them, but she’d never been to my house. So when her parents needed a sitter for the weekend, I was really excited about getting her to myself for a few days.

Allison is a happy little girl. And a cuddle girl. Two very great things!

Here are some pictures:

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And because I can’t help myself, here are some more pictures:

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Next time I’ll have to have both girls over. I can’t help but think about the fun times my two nephews spent with me at my house, and it makes me a little sad that they are so grown up now. I remember what it felt like as they were getting too old to want to come visit me out here in the country. They were moving on to new adventures. And I know that will be the case with Amanda and Allison all to quickly.

But that’s how it’s supposed to be. And I can enjoy these little girl days as long as they exist.

Do I really need tons of photos to remember my vacation?

I’m a picture person. I usually take tons of photos during special events, especially trips and vacations.

Unfortunately, I was sick on my vacation last week. My throat was hurting by the first day, and by Tuesday my energy was low, low, low. I can see the rapid disintegration in my photo folders: Sun night 70 pictures, Mon 207 pictures, Tues 7 pictures.

It was one of those times when I really wanted to do something, but couldn’t muster the energy or motivation to make it happen. And it seemed like every time I opted not to take my camera with me, that was the time when I wish I’d had it. When I did take it with me, I barely used it.

I made myself spend the day outdoors on Thursday. And though I kept wanting to fall asleep on my chair, I swam and talked and read and watched. At one point, I knew it was the time to take pictures, that this was a moment I’d want to capture. The sun was shining, the waves were blue and white, and everyone was out there having fun. But I thought, “tomorrow…I will do it tomorrow. Today I will just watch and enjoy.”

Of course, the next day – our last day – I was in bed all day and the one time I ventured out into the heat, I turned right back around and went back to bed. So there was no next sunlit day at the beach.

And now I’m kind of sad that I don’t have more photos. I’m still sick, but I wish I’d pushed myself more and just made myself take pictures.

Memories of outings past:

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Those photos are important to me. They bring back the memories in a vivid, perfect way that my mind simply can’t replicate.

I remember the texture of the event, what I felt like, what it sounded like, bits and pieces of scenery and little snippets of the action. But a photo can show me, whenever I want, the exact expression on someone’s face, the exact moment when this  happened, this tiny little thing I’d already forgotten about.

Some people never take photos, and they don’t really need that kind of memento. Even as I was watching the others play in the waves that Thursday, I was thinking it would be okay if I didn’t get those pictures. Because being there was the thing, the most important part. Enjoying the experience. And I was right, of course.

But I still wish I had more pictures.

Are you a picture person?

Do you feel the need to capture the moment, or are you perfectly content just to live it?