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Posts tagged ‘personal’

Aug 30

10 Comments

You Can Never Be Too Thankful


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I haven’t talked about Practicing Thankful since February (six months!) when I wrote a great big long post about how far I’d come on my thankfulness journey. It was all true, and I’d like to say that in the months since then I have effortlessly maintained that lovely, positive, thankful attitude that I worked so hard to achieve.  But…that would not  be as true.  I haven’t quite reverted into the Little Miss Cranky Pants that I was before, but I’m most definitely still a work in progress.

When I started working on thankfulness, I decided to keep a daily list of things I was grateful for.  On my blog.  For everyone to see.  I found that to be extremely helpful, because it made me focus on the positive, even if the only thing I could think to write was, “I’m so thankful that this stress-filled day is over!”  But it was tough to really get myself started.  I struggled with being thankful, partly with the task of writing my Thankfuls down, but mostly with just remembering to be thankful.  I had some tough times and was pretty hard on myself, but I persevered and it slowly started to work.  My attitude began to shift and, for the first time since I was a pre-teen, I was able to see the world through truly positive eyes.  Purposely focusing on what I was thankful for enabled me to see just how much I had to be grateful for every day.

At the beginning of this year, I decided to stop writing daily Thankfuls.  I had always found it hard to keep the blog up to date, whether I wrote them in a notebook, on my day planner, or directly onto the blog.  That part of it had always felt like a burden; necessary to the process, but a burden.  The fact that anyone could see whether or not I was fulfilling that commitment only added to the pressure.   Honestly, I think that having a “burden” is part of what made it work; the fact that I had a task responsibility made it more real and kept it fresh in my mind.  Having a tangible task to complete forced me to maintain my focus.   I didn’t see it that way in February, though, and I felt I had come far enough to cut back on the daily written re-enforcement of my goal.  Here’s what I said:

I am comfortable with the progress that I’ve made so far.  I am paying attention.  I drive to work and look at the trees and the clouds and the sky and just everything around me…and I’m thankful.  I’m not necessarily thankful to be up early, but I’m sure thankful that it gave me an opportunity to see that sky.

And that’s what it was supposed to be about.  It was about approaching the day, approaching my life, in different way.  Instead of being grumpy and non-observant and self-involved, I wanted to be looking outside of myself.  I wanted to be thankful that I can see and smell and touch and taste all of these wonderful things that populate my life.  

Though I’m not where I ultimately want to be, I am in a much more positive frame of mind, a thankful frame of mind.  I will definitely continue on, but with a weekly Thankful.  It will be easier to keep up with, and I want to see where it takes me.  Honestly, I’m not sure what the next stage in the thankful journey will be; I don’t have a clear idea of what I want to gain from Practicing Thankful in 2012.  But in the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy the appreciation that I’ve gained so far.

As I re-read that February post, I remembered just how at peace I was back then and how totally awesome that felt.  I think it’s like when someone’s meds are starting to work: “I’m cured!”  

“Um, no, honey.  The medicine  is working; that is not  the same thing as being cured.  Take your pill.”  My thankfulness medicine was simply starting to work.  I was calmer and more peaceful.  I wasn’t seeing as much negativity in the world around me, because I was no longer looking for it.

I did enjoy my new-found appreciation for a while.  But over the last three or four months, I have felt myself slowly, slowly, slowly paying ever less attention to thankfulness.  It’s like I’ve been sliding down a rope, and I finally realized, “Oh, my gosh, I’m going in the wrong direction!”  I don’t want to let go of it, to slide all the way back to where I’m not thankful at all.  

To combat this, I first re-focused on noticing the moments when I feel thankful, and acknowledging them.  Taking the time to say “thank you” makes me feel good.  It’s helpful for me to recognize the good things that happen when things go right, but also to distinguish the good parts when things are not going well.  When I say thanks, it reduces my stress and reinforces the positives in a bad situation.

I want to – need to – start writing daily Thankfuls again, but I haven’t made that happen yet.  In the meantime, I read a post by KJ, who talked about making a gratitude necklace.  She used it like a rosary, naming something she was thankful for as she touched each bead.  I thought that was a wonderful idea, and another reader talked about making a bracelet.  So that’s what I did.  Having my thankfulness bracelet and putting it on every morning is a physical reminder of the many blessings in my life.  

That was one of the things I struggled with last year: what did I really mean by “going into the day” with a thankful attitude?  How can you be thankful for things that haven’t happened yet?  Last year I thought I had my answer, that it was all about approaching the day with the expectation of thankfulness, that there were things to be thankful for waiting around every corner.  That is still true and important, but I considered those questions again as I was making my bracelet.  I had to keep adding beads for all of the things I was grateful for, and this bracelet got bigger and chunkier by the minute.  It’s not the kind of jewelry that I would normally wear, in fact it’s the exact opposite.  But I love it, because each and every bead is a reminder of the things that hold my life up.  I have so, so many things to go into the day thankful for.

This Thankfulness Bead represents my blog!

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As I look back on this last bit of my thankfulness journey, I’m seeing that the first stage wasn’t over six months ago; I still had a lot more growing to do.  Backsliding has taught me something important: I have to keep working to maintain my thankfulness.  In February, I thought that I was ready to move on, but instead of amping up my efforts and branching out, I scaled back.

For now, I’m working on getting that peace back, because I can feel the difference in myself since I wrote that last Practicing Thankful post.  I’m not Little Miss Cranky Pants maybe, but also not the calm and peaceful, positive and thankful minded woman I was becoming.  The stress of failed resolutions didn’t help, either.  But maybe if I’d been as fully focused on Thankful as I had been before, those failures wouldn’t have looked so bad to me.

♦

Items of Interest:

The power of gratitude by KJ (in which the bracelet idea is born)

Thankfully Moving Forward (in which I thought I was)

Not so Thankful in September (in which I have a hard time with failure)

Thankfulness! by Harold

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Aug 29

8 Comments

Year of Quotes No. 35

Aug 27

29 Comments

We are not the gatekeepers for Christ

I do believe in rules.  In most cases, the rules and guidelines we are given as a child, the frameworks we are encouraged to live within, are meant to guide us into a successful adulthood.  And in more ways than one, my country would not exist as it is today were it not for rules.  People have come here for hundreds of years in attempts to escape the rules of their own countries, and we fought a revolution on this soil to overthrow rules we did not like.  When that battle was won, we promptly established more rules; they just happened to suit us better.

The same thing happens in the Christian community.  If you don’ t like how they do it in this church, you move on.  If you can’t find a place you like, just create something new.  I can’t fault anyone for church hopping in search of a community that feels like home.  After all, that’s what fellowship is supposed to be about, a family of people who support you and encourage your religious growth.  That can’t happen if you’re uncomfortable with the teachings of the church.  And even within the same denomination, what is being taught can vary from congregation to congregation.

We’ve all been handed the same rule book, but we are free to interpret it as we choose.  As we will.

And that’s the thing: as Christians, we are not truly united under a single set of beliefs.  It’s no longer enough to say you’re a Christian.  The follow-up question is typically some variation of, “What kind?”, because the denominations and sects and splinter groups are so numerous.  The core element of Christianity is there, i.e., “I am a follower of Christ”, but what that entails can be different for every group.

Some Christian groups focus more on the rules than on Christ.  I certainly agree that there are things we should and shouldn’t do.  I don’t steal from people or murder them, but those are pretty easy for me to avoid.  However, I have told countless lies, have tons of bad thoughts, and frankly, I don’t always WANT to do the right thing.  Sometimes I want to do the exact opposite of the right thing!

Fortunately for me, my faith is not based on perfectly following rules.  My faith is built on my relationship with Christ.  Unfortunately, many Christians not only construct their religious lives around rules they cherry pick out of scripture, but they also make up rules of their own.

There is experience within my own family of falling victim to a church community that built itself around the rules of its leader rather than on Christ, and members followed that leadership with cult-like obedience.  The rules he laid down were at best twisted forms of Christian doctrine.  At their worst, they were not founded in Christianity at all, but rather designed to instill fear and maintain his personal power.  The rules were malleable, as suited his needs.  If he were caught breaking his own rules, he had justifications at the ready, but congregants who broke them were dealt with swiftly and publicly.  He abandoned or reversed rules that no longer served his purposes, but despite these inconsistencies, this leader was heard and followed.  

This leader’s goal was not to grow his church by bringing people to Christ.  His goal was to maintain his own influence and control within that small group.  He was a Christian who turned people away from Christ.  Those who questioned his rules were loudly condemned and driven out.  Those who stayed would not risk listening to their own doubts; they were too afraid that his version of truth was the right one.

Doubt, questions and uncertainty are as much a part of my everyday faith as trust, hope and joy.  But it isn’t God I’m uncertain about, it’s the myriad voices that try to sway me to their version of the truth.  It isn’t God I doubt, it’s myself, and whether I’m listening to the right voice.  That’s a scary thought for me, because there are people who will interpret biblical rules in a way that suits their own needs.  There Christians who don’t seem to be followers of Christ, who use the Bible to push their own agendas.  Instead of drawing people into the faith, these Christians use scripture to drive others away.  Though it’s difficult to drown out all those other voices, I have chosen to give sway to the voice within, the one that tells me to study the Bible, to study the life of Christ and to aspire to live by His teachings.  

What Jesus taught me is that we’re all welcome.  We don’t all answer His call, but we’re all invited.  He did not preach hate and intolerance and judgement.  A shepherd does not beat and scatter his flock.  He gathers them together and protects them.  He seeks to add to his flock, to see it flourish and prosper.

Christ taught that there is one rule above all others, which is to love the Lord your God.  Second only to this is the rule to love your neighbor as yourself. 

How can you love your neighbor if your heart is filled with hate?  Where is there room for Christ if your heart is filled up with hate?  Hate belongs to another, one whose wish is to deceive and confuse and shake people’s faith.  One whose sole desire is to beat and scatter the flock.

It makes me heartsick to see Christians turn people away from God.  I just can’t understand why a Christian would purposefully, maliciously, hatefully, and sometimes even gleefully, ostracize another and work to exclude people from the faith.  How heartless to push someone away from what you believe is eternal salvation and toward what you believe to be eternal agony.

As a Christian, it’s not my job to create or enforce rules that keep people out.  Likewise, it’s not my job to make people believe what I believe.  I can only walk my faith, share my beliefs and welcome everyone with open arms.  The rest is in another’s hands.

There isn’t a human being on earth who is qualified to be a gate-keeper for Christ.  Not a single one.

♦

Items of Interest:

Grace by Bekka (Moonlight & Sunbeams)

We Got It Wrong on a Wednesday by Tamara (a deeper story)

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Aug 26

6 Comments

the Infinite Monkey speaks: on faith

Random brilliance from across the blogosphere…

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Who can show me what the faith is?  Don’t tell me, but show it to me! 

– Teacher Tobi

from:
Faith

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