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Posts from the ‘supposedly funny’ Category

Is it okay to stare at nearly naked people?

Or should I make every effort to avert my eyes?

I mean really, don’t they dress that way on purpose? I’m talking about people – okay, it’s mostly women – who wear clothing that leaves their ta-tas and their hoo-haas hanging out for the world to see.

So, the thing is, this woman came in to the store yesterday and her shirt was super low-cut.

This was not a tiny woman.

And the shirt was just a wee bit tight, so there was that. You know, boob muffin top.

One boob was just way – way – exposed and the other was apparently hanging on to her shirt by the nipple for dear life – I mean we’re way close to indecent exposure here.

And both of those breasteses were tattooed.

Tattooed.

That’s not something you do on accident. These are not accidentally tattooed and exposed boobs we’re talking about.

And I’m trying not to stare.

Cause that’s rude. And kinda icky.

So hard I’m trying.

But it’s WEIRD! It’s like they’re everywhere. The boobs are everywhere!

And I’m afraid my eyes are going to lock on and I’ll get boob hypnotized and I’ll fall in or something.

Look away, Michelle! Look away!

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I got through it. I looked away.

Mostly.

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But I’ve got a little post-traumatic shock.

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And I really want to know –

If someone leaves the house with their bits and pieces hanging out, aren’t they basically saying, “Hey everybody – look what I got!”

Maybe it was more rude of me to look away. Hmm…

Pop Quiz, Hotshot!

I always get blog crushes.  Some of them go the way of schoolgirl crushes, fading back into the mutual oblivion from which they sprung.  But some of them have turned into truly lovely friendships.  In that respect, my cup runneth over; I’m so fortunate.

Anyway, a blogger I’m crushing on right now is Clay Morgan.  I know, you’re probably so shocked to hear that – but it’s true!  I’ve really enjoyed his site, claywrites.com, and I loved his new book.  Clay blogs about pop culture, history and the meaning of life, and his posts usually give me a lot to think about.  And if you’ve been here a while, then you know I love that.

Clay recently submitted to an interview by me (and let me tell you, I did not  know what I was doing).  I’ll be posting it in pieces to finish out UNDEAD month, and yes, I squeezed that much material out of him.  Poor man.  He’s got patience, I’ll give him that.

Today I’m sharing something I had a lot of  fun with: a Pop Quiz!  Go ahead and play along at home; you know you want to.

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So I think I won, don’t you?  Yes, I know that wasn’t a contest.  Don’t be silly.

But those voices in my head are totally real.  No matter what that picture of Clay said.

ps: My favorite part is when Clay has such a hard time deciding between his beloved historical figures.  I almost felt bad for making him choose.  But not bad enough to let him out of it.

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on the other hand…

Baby Blues by Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott

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Sometimes people need our help
but they don’t know it.

on the other hand…

Sometimes people need no help
but we don’t know it.

In Daddy’s Day – Uncle Joe, the Seed, and Subsequent Events

So, it’s time for another guest post by my dad, Tom.  Last week, he introduced us to his Uncle Joe, who was apparently very hairy and very full of mischief.  Where he left off, my dad was knuckle deep in Uncle Joe’s back hair.  And Uncle Joe was planting a seed in Daddy’s eight-year-old head…

For those of you who are looking in on this little piece of Michelle’s blog for the first time, what you are about to read may not make a lot of sense. It’s part two of a story started last week, Uncle Joe and the Nun. If you get a little bit lost toward the end, just refer back to last week’s episode.

I was a little bit long winded last time, so we’ll skip a bunch of stuff and move the calendar ahead a full eight months.  We are now back home, and witnessing a war of wills between my mother and my father. continue reading…