Follow through…or not, whatever.
I have no idea when I made this little diary, except that I was in elementary school and it was a special project we did in art class. Maybe second grade? And I also have no idea why on earth I started out writing “dear book”. Seems kinda weird now, but that’s what I did. Pretty soon I switched over to “dear diary” and I’ve been writing, documenting, journaling, venting – however you want to classify it – ever since.
There are other things about myself that I can trace back to the beginnings of my memory. I’ve always been shy, timid even, and unsure. The trifecta, right? Don’t bet on it, haha! Get it? Bet on it? The trifecta… Yeah, I’ve had a fantastic sense of humor for as far back as I can remember. I’ve always had trouble with left and right (don’t ask me for directions). I’ve always struggled to understand others or to make my own meaning understood. I think that’s why I over-explain things, and often end up repeating people’s words back to them in my own language. I think I know what they’re saying, but I’ve been told I was wrong so much, that I feel the need to clarify.
And then there’s the little problem of follow through.
Love the arrow pointing to all that nothingness. And clearly my expectations were high, considering I felt I would need to “con.” on the next page. That’s just so me. Well, all we can do is keep on trying to improve ourselves, right?
And what about you? What are some of the ways that you are the same now as ever?
I’m just being nosy – something else about me that hasn’t changed!
‘dear book’ is kind of sweet. It’s a good idea to start a relationship with a book on respectful terms.
Haha – so true! I’ve certainly been consumed by a book or two in my day! You can never be too careful.
LOVE the arrow into nothingness!
I know! So funny. Let me tell you, Angela, that little arrow is the story of my life 🙂
I have tried and often succeeded to change things about me over the years, but, down at the bottom, like Popeye, “I yam what I yam.” For a year and a half around 13/14 I kept a diary. I know, a guy with a diary? I guess I felt the need to express myself that far back.
Me too – I can change little things, small habits, but the fundamental aspects of my personality remain. I have been able to change (with much effort) how I relate to other people and how I interact with them. But I’m constantly shocked to see the real me – the unchanging, saying and feeling the same things over and over me – in my old diaries.
Blogging is pretty great as a means of self-expression, isn’t it? I’m glad you blog!
It’s great that you’ve kept your old journals. Looking back at how different/same we’ve been over the years helps us understand ourselves a little better. Although I suspect most of us will remain more or less the same. We may have learnt some lessons along the way but our core flavour remains. Haha at least that’s how I am 🙂
I love that: our core flavour! I think that’s pretty accurate. I am vanilla, by the way; pretty plain, but it’s my favorite flavor nonetheless. I have so many old journals and essays and letters and bits and pieces written on scraps of paper. It’s been fun to go back and see what I can find in all those words, pieces of me that I definitely recognize, moments that I’ve forgotten to remember, and some things that I can’t even call back to my memory at all. But it’s true that I have grown and my viewpoints have changed over the years, and yet the core flavour of me is still the same.