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A Year in the 80’s – Fashion Statements

So when I think of 1980’s fashion, a few things come directly to mind. Chief among those are big hair, big earrings, big shoulder pads and Madonna wearing her underwear as clothing.

But really, 10 years is a long time…

80's fashion got around some!

80’s fashion got around some!

…and that bigger is best fad isn’t the only thing that was going on.

Here’s a little retrospective of some of the fashion you may have been sporting if you grew up in the 80’s!

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Recognize any of those looks?

Still got any of it in your closet? ;)

How Does Facebook Help Your Friendships?

Today I have a guest post by Cherie Burbach!

Cherie is a friendship expert at About.com, and my guest on the podcast this week, which you can listen to  here! We had a great chat about friendship, and I really enjoyed it!

Today Cherie offers some observations and advice about how we use Facebook with our friends.

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When Michelle interviewed me about friendship, we naturally got to talking about social media. Specifically, Facebook. Seems like everyone we know is on the site, even people we never thought would join, like our parents, grandparents, and technically-challenged friends. Recently I came across a figure that made the reality real: 71% of online adults use Facebook.

No wonder it’s become such a force in communicating with friends.

After my interview with Michelle, I did an informal survey of some of my own Facebook friends to see how they used the site and if it’s helped or hurt their friendships. The responses I got were:

  • It helps to stay in touch with long-distance friends.
  • It helps look up old friends easily.
  • It can get a little overwhelming sometimes.

Another response: it hasn’t changed things one way or the other. I think the response was largely based on how people used the site. Recently I talked about how studies had shown that Facebook made you happier or sadder depending on how you used it. For my own use, I think Facebook has been very helpful in certain situations, but since I use it for work it can also become a little too much at times as well.

One thing is clear: Facebook shouldn’t be the only method you use to communicate with friends. Call them up, text, and make time to see them in person. That’s the only way to truly keep your friendships going and make the people in your life feel important. Facebook can supplement the things you do, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you do to connect with friends.

Girlfriends

Get out and meet up in person! (photo by Whiskeygonebad)

author photo.

Cherie Burbach is a freelance writer specializing in lifestyle and relationships. She’s written for About.com, NBC/Universal, Happen Magazine, Philips Lifeline, and more. Visit her website, cherieburbach.com.

 

A Year in the 80’s – One Hit Wonders

Continuing the music theme for another week, I present you with some one hit wonders!

For the most part, these are all true one hit on the US Top 40 Pop Chart and that’s all this band ever did wonders, the bands you never of before and then never heard from again.

Here we go!

1980
The Vapors – Turning Japanese
peaked at #36 on November 29th

When I saw this video, I realized I didn’t remember anything except the chorus. And listening to it I can see why: it’s pretty dumb and possibly a bit racist. But the chorus is catchy. I really think so.

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1981
Joey Scarbury – Believe It or Not (Greatest American Hero theme)
peaked at #2 on August 15th

I LOVED this song!! Loved it. And why not, it’s Solid Gold. (Get it? Solid Gold? I crack me up.) ANY-way, this video really is golden 80’s memorabilia, for so many reasons.

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1982
Buckner & Garcia – Pac-Man Fever
peaked at #9 on March 27th

American Bandstand, Dick Clark, skinny ties, Pac Man… I’ve got 80’s fever, ya’ll! I’m not even playing. As an interesting side-note, Buckner now has a show called The 1 Hit Wonders Show.

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1983
Taco – Puttin’ on the Ritz
peaked at #4 on September 3rd

I totally remembered most of the words when I watched this video, you guys! Or at least lots of them. Ok, some of them, but still. It seems a little weird now, but I really liked this video when I was 13. I thought it was super duper.

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1984
Ollie & Jerry – Breakin’… There’s No Stopping Us
peaked at #9 on August 4th

Break dancing is cool. That is all.

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1985
John Hunter – Tragedy
peaked at #39 on February 16th

I have no recollection of this song whatsoever, but this video made me laugh so I had to include it. Plus, cute doggie. This is so thoroughly mid-80’s! The hair, the makeup, the shoulder pads…they’re just a tragedy.

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1986
Boys Don’t Cry – I Wanna Be a Cowboy
peaked at #12 on June 21st

I do  remember this song – and it’s still awesome! Yippie-yippie-yi, Yippie-yi-yo-yo! Oh, Yippie!!

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1987
Danny Wilson – Mary’s Prayer
peaked at #23 on September 5th

I liked this song, but I had no idea until now that he was saying Mary’s prayer.

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1988
E.U. (Experience Unlimited) – Da Butt
peaked at #35 on May 21st

This is a little bit of a cheat because E.U. had other hits on the R&B charts too, but they’re a D.C.-based band, which is local to me. Also it’s old guys singing about butts.

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1989
Grayson Hugh – Talk It Over
peaked at #19 on September 9

This is the only song on the list I even recognized. And I played them all. Where was I in ’89? My favorite parts of this song and video are the background singers. They remind me of my time singing in chorus.

This was the most fun, you guys!! I think I’ll be spending some money at iTunes in a minute. :)

Yippie-yi-yo-yo!

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A Year in the 80’s – a music sampler

The first album I ever bought was Asia’s sefl-titled début record, and I bought it because I liked the cover. What can I say, I was 12 and I just really wanted to own a record.

Remember vinyl records and those big gorgeous covers? And if you were lucky you’d open them up and all the lyrics would be on the inner sleeve and you’d lay on the couch and play the record over and over until you knew all the lyrics by heart. *sigh* That lasted through my cassette tape years, but I was beyond that by the time cd’s came out.

We are now in the digital age, and I don’t even think I’ve bought an actual physical copy of an album in over ten years. Times they are a changin’, and music along with it. But I have a huge place in my heart for the music I grew up with in the 80’s, and that will probably never change. By the way, I really liked that Asia album. 12 year old me knew a good cover when she saw one. :)

Here’s a little sampler of the music I listened to in the 1980’s:

1980 – 1982
These were the boombox years for me, when I’d carry that thing all over the neighborhood. I remember when I got my boombox for Christmas. It. Was. Beautiful. Remember listening to the radio, waiting for that one song you loved to come on, your finger hovering over the record button? I remember that.

Air supply – The One That You Love, All Out of Love, Lost In Love, Even the Nights Are Better

Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’, Who’s Crying Now, Open Arms, Faithfully

Hall & Oats – Private Eyes, Kiss on My List, I Can’t Go for That, Maneater

REO Speedwagon – Keep on Loving You, Take It on the Run

Pat Benatar – Hit Me with Your Best Shot, Heartbreaker, Treat Me Right, Love Is a Battlefield

The Police – Don’t Stand So Close to Me, Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic

But Abracadabra by Steve Miller Band is the one that always comes to mind first when I think of that boombox. This video is hideous hilarious:

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1983 – 1985
MTV came to my town in ’83 or so, and that’s when I really got into music. Or at least the music they were playing on MTV. Actually, most of these songs blend together along the early 80’s timeline in my brain.

Huey Lewis and the News – Do You Believe in Love, The Heart of Rock & Roll, If This Is It, The Power of Love

Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This), Here Comes the Rain Again, Would I Lie To You?

Culture Club – Do You Really Want to Hurt Me, I’ll Tumble 4 Ya, Karma Chameleon

Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Want To Have Fun, Time After Time, All Through The Night

The Go-Go’s – We Got the Beat, Our Lips are Sealed, Vacation

Madonna – Borderline, Lucky Star, Holiday, Crazy for You, Material Girl

Tears for Fears – Everybody Wants to Rule the World, Shout, I Believe

Duran Duran – Hungry Like the Wolf, The Reflex, Rio

Bryan Adams – Strait from the Heart, Summer of ’69, Run to You

John (Cougar) Mellencamp – Jack & Diane, Hurts So Good, Lonely Ol’ Night

Pink Houses is the one I really liked the best. My Nannie lived in a pink house, and I always thought of this song when I thought of her house:

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1986 – 1987
I got my license in ’86, and after that I wasn’t sitting at home watching music videos much anymore. We were cruising town! 

Bon Jovi – You Give Love a Bad Name, Livin’ on a Prayer, Wanted Dead or Alive

Heart – Never, These Dreams, Alone, Nothing at All

Madonna – Causing a Commotion, La Isla Bonita, Open Your Heart, Papa Don’t Preach, Live to Tell

Bruce Springsteen – Glory Days, Dancing in the Dark, Tunnel of Love, Brilliant Disguise, Born in the U.S.A.

The Eagles – New Kid in Town, Life in the Fast Lane, One of These Nights, Take It to the Limit

The Dream Academy – Life in a Northern Town, Bound to Be, Indian Summer, The Love Parade

I saw The Dream Academy on Saturday Night Live and bought their album after only hearing those two songs. I’ve been in love with them ever since.

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1988 – 1989
Graduation and my first year at college! We went to a few concerts these years, too, which are great memories. I went to school in the mountains, and many an afternoon I was riding through the hills blasting The Eagles, Indigo Girls, and Bruce Hornsby. Singing at the top of my lungs. Those poor, poor cows.

U2 – With or Without You, I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, Where The Streets Have No Name

R.E.M. – Stand, Orange Crush, Pop Song ’89, Begin the Begin, Fall on Me

INXS – What You Need, Need You Tonight, Devil Inside, New Sensation, Never Tear Us Apart

Aerosmith – Dude Looks Like a Lady, Janie’s Got a Gun, What it Takes, Don’t Get Mad Get Even

The Smiths – Is It Really So Strange, Sheila Take a Bow, Panic, Ask

Indigo Girls – Closer to Fine, Tried to Be True, Secure Yourself

Bruce Hornsby and the Range – The Way It Is, Mandolin Rain, Every Little Kiss, On The Western Skyline

The best concert I ever saw was Bruce Hornsby playing piano with the Richmond Symphony. Love, love this music. But I have no recollection of ever having seen this video:

This one was harder than the movies by a long mile. I wanted to list every single song I remembered from the 80’s! This is just a tiny sampling of the great music I loved from that decade, in the general order of when I remember listening to it.

You know, I just realized that some of the albums I fell in love with in the 80’s – Bruce Hornsby, The Dream Academy, U2, The Eagles – those are still among my absolute favorites today. More than 2o years later. And I still get excited when I hear them.

What were you listening to in the 80’s? I mean, if you were alive then. :)

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Resolutions!

Okay, so I’m doing resolutions again this year. A little late, haha, but that’s me all over. I did okay with my goals in 2012 – not as well as I’d like, but my failures were in those giant goals I set for myself that would require a radical overhaul of my 43-year-strong habits. Cause, you know, that’s not too much to ask of myself, right?

I spent a lot of last year beating myself up for those failures, and the rest of the time learning how to suck at something without hating myself for it. (If anything, I’d say that’s the real lesson I learned.) At the end of the year, I wrote a big long post about what I thought  I’d learned. Basically, that for those major life change, long term goals, I really needed to plan out steps and smaller goals along the way. Which is not a wrong idea, in and of itself. You know, if I knew how to do small steps like a normal person with good sense and a modicum of patience.

So, naturally, at the beginning of 2013 I did the typical Michelle thing: I made the work of goal achieving harder and bigger than it already is. I mapped and planned and plotted and charted and listed. Same old thing; biting off more than I can chew and overwhelming myself before I even really get started. All my charty listy mappy plans were just too cumbersome and added more work to already difficult (for me) goals. My checklists fell by the wayside almost immediately, and I struggled all last year to get my act together goal-wise, not getting any further ahead than I had been at the beginning. 

I did accomplish a lot in 2013, I really did. But I missed the simple resolution process that I’d started in 2012. I wanted to do many of those same goals again in 2013, but without the reminder and prod here on the blog, I let a lot of the smaller things, like visiting family and taking an outing each month, fall by the wayside. I missed doing those things, but they don’t come to me naturally. Without my resolution list, I simply forgot to aim or plan for them.

This year I’m going back to the 2012 method of setting and tracking my goals here. Some of those not-so-simple goals are back, but I’m working with a life coach to help me learn to set reasonable steps, or goals-within-a-goal. But I think the main thing she’s going to help me with is to slow down and not bite off such big chunks. Patience. And to enjoy this whole process, because it should be fun and inspirational and a kind thing I’m doing for myself.

So here are my 2014 goals:

  1. healthy budget
  2. healthy diet
  3. exercise 
  4. spend time with family or friends I rarely see
  5. go someplace different or go to an event each month
  6. keep a daily thankful journal
  7. Write at least 6 Queries for the blog this year
  8. re-paint my kitchen and put up shelves
  9. take a computer class
  10. go to bed at the same time every night
  11. get up early every morning

So that’s it, my 2014 resolutions. I’m excited to get started, or re-started, as the case may be! I hope 2014 is a great year for me and for you, too!!

My First Session with a Life Coach

On Tuesday you met Lamisha Serf; isn’t she nice? Lamisha is a Life Coach who was my guest on the podcast yesterday, and she’s helping me get a grip on the goals I want to accomplish in 2014. Or really, she’s training me how to make and accomplish goals at all!

I promised to tell you about my session with Lamisha, but I think the first question to answer is why I would hire a Life Coach in the first place. The answer to that is pretty easy: I need help!

I have all these things I want to accomplish, ways that I want to improve myself and my life, but I just can’t seem to get it done on my own. Last year I worked with my friend and Health Coach, Vicki Manual, and she did an amazing job of changing the way I viewed my successes and failures. Basically, she got my mind in the right place. Now I need help with the logistics part. I struggle to maintain long-term success with the goals I set, and even though I know some of the reasons why, I still keep making the same mistakes over and over. So after talking with Lamisha on the podcast, when she asked if I wanted to do a free session, I said “Yes, I would love that!”

And I’m so glad I did! I had my second session today, and it’s been a great experience so far. Here are some thoughts about why I like working with a Life Coach, and specifically Lamisha:

  1. Lamisha is a professional. She has experience and training, therefore she has thoughts and viewpoints that I wouldn’t come up with on my own. And when she gives me suggestions and ideas, they’re right on target. In short, she has more knowledge and insight than I do. She’s teaching me new things.
  2. She listens with a practiced ear and hears what I’m really  saying; she’s able to dig through all my yammering very quickly and pull out the pertinent information. She’s making me aware of things I’m saying that I wasn’t even paying attention to. And she’s reminding me of things I said (just a few moments ago) and how I can apply that to this other thing I’m talking about right now. It’s like I’m learning that 2+2=4. I feel like I should have known it already, but somehow I just wasn’t putting 2 and 2 together! It’s pretty cool.
  3. She’s asking me questions that I’m not asking myself: Why do I want to accomplish this goal? What does the end result look like to me? Where do I find inspiration? How can I make the things I don’t want to do more fun?
  4. Just by talking about them, I realized I had fuzzy goals. Even though I had a list item, I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to accomplish. When Lamisha said, “tell me about that,” I had to think about it to put it into words. 
  5. She talked about inspiration, and that was a big one for me. I’ve viewed goals as tasks, and my self-worth has been wrapped up in whether or not I could be motivated and disciplined enough to accomplish those tasks. So a big part of where she’s helping me is to adjust my thinking about goal setting, to think of it as a fun thing, something that I want  to do, not have to do or need to do. It is something that I can be inspired to do. 
  6. The other big one is how important it is to take small steps. I always bite off my goals big chunks, and then it’s too much to chew, much less swallow. Vicki really worked hard to get me to see the accomplishments I was overlooking because I was only seeing success and failure in terms of the entire goal. She would say, “What about this good point and that good point?” Lamisha is working with me to stop taking such huge bites in the first place.

The overwhelming feeling after my first session was that it was all focused on me. I kind of felt guilty for monopolizing everything, even though it was supposed to be about me. I felt a little selfish because I was so happy to have that individualized attention. The feel of the second talk was really like a strategy and training session, building on the foundation and “homework” from the previous chat.

I felt very positive after each session, which is what you’d hope for of course. But after each talk, I had at least one tangible thing I was going to do next. And Lamisha re-enforced what I need to keep hearing, that I don’t have to do – and can’t do – everything at once. I had a lot to think about and work with, and through, between the first and second sessions, and I’m feeling good about my homework for the next two weeks. 

As for Lamisha personally, she’s a very nice person and very easy to talk to. She has good tips, strategies, and feedback, and she is clearly listening to me, which feels amazing. And she’s excited for me and about what she can help me do. It’s great not only to have a partner to work with, but a professional who is focused on me and my growth.

I just thought it would be interesting to share what Lamisha does and how Life Coaching works. Listen to the podcast too, she gives some great ideas on there!

Items of Interest:
5 Ways to Give Your “Resolutions” a Fighting Chance
Life Coach Lamisha Serf - podcast
Food Issues; with Vicki Manual – podcast
photo credit: Brett Jordan