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Don’t throw your pee out the window!

When I first uttered those words to my nephew, I immediately thought of Leanne Shirtliffe.

I should point out that Leanne wrote a book called Don’t Lick The Minivan (and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say To My Kids).

Even though I don’t have my own children to say crazy things to, I had really been looking forward to reading Leanne’s book about raising twins.

Then I went on vacation with my sister and her family. Including two teenagers, a five-year-old and a two-year-old. And I heard myself saying a lot – A. Lot. – of crazy things.

That’s when I realized this book is for everyone whose ever been around kids ever. In the supermarket. On the street. In church. If you’ve ever so much as thought  a strange comment in a kid’s direction, then you’ll relate.

As a fan of Leanne’s blog, Ironicmom.com, I know she’s a funny lady. And from my interactions with her on her blog and other places out there in the webby world, I know she’s funny, kind, smart and generous with herself. And did I mention she’s funny? Because she is.

In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Leanne is all those things I’ve come to expect and more.

She shares stories of her struggles with perfecting motherhood in an open manner, including “the lost year” of postpartum depression. Eventually throwing out all of the parenting books (turns out it isn’t a job you can actually “perfect”), she took the DIY approach to motherhood, and we get to go on that rollercoaster ride as well. 

Leanne tells so many stories that make us laugh at her kids antics, without ever making them subjects of ridicule. Where some writers would go for the snark, she manages to be kind with her reminiscences of her kids licking, well, lots of stuff, peeing in bicycle helmets (on dolls, on the lawn…) and wanting to do crafts.

She knows how to laugh at herself and her husband too, recounting stories of those first crazy days of parenthood (if you’ve ever woken a baby up just to make sure it’s still alive, then you’ll know what I mean), and then all the crazy days of parenthood to follow. There are laughs everywhere, but you get a real sense of family in this book – you’re laughing in the way that makes you feel a part of the family, like you know these people. And you genuinely like them.

So, a few other things I liked about Don’t Lick The Minivan:

  • each section ends with a letter to one or both of her kids, a sweet addition to this humor memoir (laughter through tears is my favorite emotion)
  • sections are broken into smaller essays that are easy to consume on a work break – or whenever you get a moment of peace from your kids
  • the Index
  • Leanne’s “Parenting Tips”, super funny (don’t try this at home, kids) parenting strategies sprinkled throughout the book

Don’t Lick The Minivan is so often a laugh out loud funny book, the kind where you feel compelled to tell everybody in the room what you just read. But it’s also sweet and honest and tender. It’s definitely a book worth sharing.

I suggest you pick up a copy for yourself and your parents (It might be nice if you wrote an apology note inside, you know, for all the stuff you did when you were a kid. Just sayin’.) and for anyone you know who has kids.

And keep an extra copy on hand for the next baby shower you’re invited to. It’s the only book on parenting they won’t eventually throw out.

A Year in Narnia – No. 20

Listen: 


Narnia 20

Boston Marathon bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev is buried in my neighborhood

So the big news around here last Friday was that Tamerlan Tsarnaev was being buried in my county. The police department was actually forced to make a statement along the lines of, “Yes, we know what’s happening. Stop calling us. Oh, and 911 is for emergencies.”

I’m not sure what all those people calling 911 were thinking, why they thought it was an emergency or what they thought the police were supposed to do about it.

Though I hate to admit it, my own knee-jerk reaction to the information, while hardly volatile, was  less than hospitable. I thought, “Why here? He doesn’t belong here. Why did they bring him to where I live?”

I just didn’t like it.

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I still have that reaction on the surface of my heart, but deeper than that is the understanding that people are not one-dimensional.  There is more to us than our worst deeds.

God, for my own sake, I hope so.

And it’s easier than you might think to become something different from what you started out as. It’s easier than you think to get wrong ideas in your head, to become immersed in whatever crazy thing you believe, and to find yourself acting on that wrong thinking in terrible, possibly irreversible ways.

But I was saddened by the ugliness and just venom from some of the comments I read on-line, ranging from a simple “this is a disgrace” to “throw him in the sewer” to “Massachusetts  doesn’t want this trash rotting in their soil, so why should we have to take him?”

What he did was horrendous. But I have to wonder, is there an act so vile and repugnant that it completely renders the person irredeemable?

And at what point does it then become okay to deny that person their humanity?

Because if that line exists, I believe there are so many more people who don’t belong in our communities, much less our graveyards. People you’ll never hear about, who carry out their atrocities in quiet and nearly invisible ways.

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He’s here because no place else would have him.

The Christian woman who found the cemetery said, “Jesus tells us ‘love your enemies’, not to hate them even after they are dead.”

The Muslim organization that runs the cemetery released a statement that they condemn his actions but believe burying him was their duty. “To God belongs the soul, and He has the final judgment.”

There is a part of me that feels a bit contaminated when I think of this man being buried here. As irrational and unkind as that is.

And even though I’ve carried out atrocities of my own.

But at the same time, I’m glad he was taken in. I’m glad there were people with enough compassion and love and unclouded thinking to do what was morally and ethically right.

the Infinite Monkey speaks: on sharks

Random brilliance from across the blogosphere…

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Honestly, if you’re being attacked by a shark, you’re pretty screwed no matter how many heads it has. (Except zero. If a zero headed shark attacks you, you’ll probably be OK.)

 

 - The Cutter

from:

Two-Headed Sharks Are Better Than One (comments)
The Cutter blogs at The Cutter Rambles